Going Live!

Andy and I met in October of 2013. And when I say met, I mean we “found” each other on the internet. According to a sophisticated algorithm compiled by a fairly well known online dating site, we were 89% compatible. It was fate! After Andy messaged me on said site with a quirky message involving Scooby Doo, I was hooked. We messaged back and forth, met face-to-face, fell in love, and now are living happily ever after. The end. 

Annnnnnd, if you’re buying that version of our love story, I have some ocean front property in Nebraska I would like to sell you.

The truth is, when Andy and I met online, I was newly divorced from my first husband (as in, my divorce had just been finalized, that week), and Andy was separated from his first wife, in the midst of the divorce process. My separation/divorce had been long and drawn out, Andy’s had been short and volatile (both stories for another time). Full disclosure, we were breaking all of the relationship rules when it came to dating after a failed first marriage. We weren’t waiting a set amount of time to delve into a new relationship following a divorce. Remember, Andy’s divorce wasn’t even yet finalized. We probably weren’t following any of the caveats relationship experts would recommend for healing and successful, healthy relationships post divorce. I was coming into the relationship with a preteen son and teen daughter of whom I had primary custody. Andy was bringing 7-year old twin boys of whom he had joint custody. Can you see where this could get messy? What Andy and I found as a couple, however, were two people looking to grow individually, in spite of our baggage and flaws. It is that drive that has been a saving grace both for ourselves and as a couple. 

Upon the finalization of Andy’s divorce, we decided to move in together (again, breaking “rules”), and a little over a year later, June 2015, we were married. Over the course of those 20 months, Andy and I took a crash course in building a meaningful relationship, blending families, step-parenting, managing working co-parenting relationships with former spouses, the list goes on and on... The one thing I found while navigating through this crazy adventure, is that there is a huge gap when it comes to finding information, support, and resources as a blended family. A simple Google search of support for blended families returns abysmal results, and the truth is, the blended family is becoming more and more common. That’s where this little project called The Blended Family Experience comes in. As a team, Andy and I hope to generate a space that will provide insight, advice, and simple “me too” moments for other families. 

At the risk of sounding cliche, we understand that blended families come in many different shapes, sizes, and colors. In other words, blended families can look like our family, they could consist of same sex relationships, or they may look like a remarriage where one of the spouses does not have children from a previous relationship. Most of what we discuss here, will come from a perspective centered around our story, but we hope what we share becomes a springboard for discussion, thoughtfulness, and love within your family.

So, here’s to the future and where this journey takes us. We look forward to sharing this adventure with you!

~Stephanie